Need the perfect ugly Christmas sweater, but haven’t a clue where to find one, or what kind will suit you best (or worst)?
Over the years and throughout my travels, I’ve found many a crazy jumper. Or, I’ve knit one myself. Or, I’ve patched one together in an attempt to win a prize. Or… well, you get the jist.
These are my favorite ugly Christmas sweaters, 2017 edition. All *should* be available from the sellers I’ve linked to – feel free to post more links in the comments or let me know if something isn’t available.
Quick Section Links – Jump To It!The Awkwardly Ugly Christmas SweaterThe Retro Ugly Christmas SweaterThe Hilarious Christmas SweaterThe Fine Line Between Sexy and… NotThe Just Plain Ugly Christmas SweaterThe More, Uh, Unusual Christmas SweaterThe Obnoxious, No-Good, Very Bad Christmas SweaterThe Ugly Christmas Sweater PartyCreate Your Own Ugly Christmas Sweater
The Awkwardly Ugly Christmas Sweater
Let’s Get Lit Ugly Christmas Sweater
There’s awkward… and then there’s AWKWARD.These ugly Christmas sweaters toe the line between hilarious and cringe-worthy, and in a few cases, downright scary.
Grab one of these when you definitely want to be noticed, or, want to have complete strangers come up to you all night, starting random conversations. If nothing else, these are fantastic icebreakers for singles!
- A Gift…. To All Women
- Let’s Get Lit
- Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe (most awkward award, right here)
- Two Person Naughty and Nice
- Toilet Santa
- Two Person Deck the Bathroom
- Santa Baby Bum
- Butt Crack Santa
The Retro Ugly Christmas Sweater
She-Ra and He-Man Ugly Christmas Sweater
Yea, I get it. You miss the ‘old days’, even if that was just a week ago. So you want to wear a fugly sweater that just happens to honor your wacked interests in TV, movies, and/or culture. Hilariously, there’s lots of options for you!
- The Grinch
- Transformers
- Oscar the Grouch
- Group Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Sesame Street
- Marvel Comics
- Star Trek
- She-Ra and He-Man
- Simpsons
- T-Rex Opening Presents
- 3 Clever Girls, aka Jurassic Park
- Krampus
The Hilarious Christmas Sweater
Naughty or Nice? Ugly Christmas Sweater
When you want to spread mirth and cheer throughout the holidays, you grab one of these hilarious options to spread joy and wonder. And lots of beer spat in laughter all over you.
- A Gift…. To All Women
- Ho times 3
- Spoiler Alert: Santa is not Real
- Bah Hum Pug
- I’m With Scrooge
- Ninja Lights
- The Original Hipster (Santa)
- Snowman Nose Thief
- Drunk Santa
- Rudolf Glowing Nose
- Nutcracker
- Wienter is Here
- Granny Got It
- Ninja Snowman
- Poopin’ Moose
- Crappy Holidays
- Santa Riding a Unicorn
- Naughty or Nice
The Fine Line Between Sexy and… Not
Reindeer Climax Ugly Christmas Sweater
Sure, you want a sweater that stands out this holiday season. So why not take the awkward, rude and just plain silly, and wrap it all up in some sex appeal? C’mon, you know you want to.
- X-Rated Santa’s Been Naughty
- Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
- When I Think About You I Touch My Elf
- One Night Only Santa (Lights Up)
- Reindeer Climax
- Snow’s Out Ho Ho Ho’s Out
- Where’s Ma Ho Ho Ho’s At?
- Reindeer Threesome
- Sexy Women
- Pole Dancing Elves
- Mrs. Clause on the Stripper Pole
The Just Plain Ugly Christmas Sweater
Poinsettias and Plaid? A Truly Hideous Ugly Christmas Sweater
This section had me gagging. Just a teensy bit.
Yea, they aren’t THAT bad, and yet… don’t say I didn’t warn you before you clicked.
- Poinsettias and Plaid
- Squirrelly Lights
- Grandma Made It, Right?
- Like Christmas Threw Up On Me
- Ornaments and Candy Canes
- Rein-Bears (a 6-pack of ‘beers’)
- Unicorn Rudolf
- Ornament Craziness
- Rainbow Tree
The More, Uh, Unusual Christmas Sweater
Laser Cat-Zillas Ugly Christmas Sweater
Most of these ugly Christmas sweaters offer up something different – perhaps moving parts, or sounds and effects. Or, they were just so out there, I had nowhere else to list them.
- Cats Caroling
- Creeping Santa (Santa actually moves!)
- Crackling Fireplace (lights up)
- Knit Crackling Fireplace (lights up)
- Zombie Santa
- Oh, Christmas Tree (lights up)
- Rudolf Gets Turned On (lights up)
- Laser Cat-Zillas (there should be lasers! There aren’t any)
- Gassy Santa (with sound effects)
- Looks like Cocktails… (with a pocket to hold your drink)
- Crazy Cat Man (with bells)
- The Gift of Tacos
- Sharks in Sweaters
The Obnoxious, No-Good, Very Bad Christmas Sweater
If you’re still with me… and laughing… then you’re probably waiting for the perfect ugly Christmas sweater that will possibly offend (many), and make others flock to you like elves to unicorn poop. You’re welcome.
- Ask Your Mom If I’m Real
- Jingle Bros (Jesus and Santa)
- Go Jesus, It’s Your Birthday
- Excited Snowman
- Feel the Joy
The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party
You know you want to…. so why not throw a themed shindig, so that your friends can show off their horrible attire right along with you?
- Kit for People Who Forget their Sweaters Should be Horrifically Ugly
- Party Banner
- Ballot Box
- Centerpiece
- ‘Danglers‘
- Rosette Award
Create Your Own Ugly Christmas Sweater
If you’re crafty, you’re probably not on this page. Still, you technically *could* learn to knit, sew, crochet or otherwise create your own masterpiece. Right?
- Christmas Pudding (knitting)
- Christmas Past (knitting)
- Christmas Pullover (knitting)
- Multiple Variations on Christmas Jumpers (knitting)
- Santa Sitting on the Toilet (knitting)
- Christmas Elf (knitting)
- ‘Cheeky’ Bah Humbug (knitting)
- Reindeer (knitting)
- Tacky Christmas Sweater (crochet)
- Minion Christmas Sweater (crochet)
- Darth Vader Christmas Sweater (crochet)
- 15 DIY Christmas Sweaters
- DIY Christmas Sweater (YouTube video)
