The Ultimate Ugly Christmas Sweater List To Help You Stand Out This Holiday Season

There's awkward... and then there's AWKWARD.

These ugly Christmas sweaters toe the line between hilarious and cringe-worthy, and in a few cases, downright scary. 

Grab one of these when you definitely want to be noticed, or, want to have complete strangers come up to you all night, starting random conversations. If nothing else, these are fantastic icebreakers for singles! 

• A Gift.... To All Women
• Let's Get Lit
• Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe (most awkward award, right here)
• Two Person Naughty and Nice
• Toilet Santa
• Two Person Deck the Bathroom
• Santa Baby Bum
• Butt Crack Santa

Yea, I get it. You miss the 'old days', even if that was just a week ago. So you want to wear a fugly sweater that just happens to honor your wacked interests in TV, movies, and/or culture. Hilariously, there's lots of options for you!

• The Grinch
• Transformers
• Oscar the Grouch
• Group Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
• Sesame Street
• Marvel Comics
• Star Trek
• She-Ra and He-Man
• Simpsons
• T-Rex Opening Presents
• 3 Clever Girls, aka Jurassic Park
• Krampus
• Green Yoda
• Santa Hat Darth Vader
• Grinch Face

When you want to spread mirth and cheer throughout the holidays, you grab one of these hilarious options to spread joy and wonder. And lots of beer spat in laughter all over you. 

• A Gift.... To All Women
• Ho times 3
• Spoiler Alert: Santa is not Real
• Bah Hum Pug
• I'm With Scrooge
• Ninja Lights
• The Original Hipster (Santa)
• Snowman Nose Thief
• Drunk Santa
• Rudolf Glowing Nose
• Nutcracker
• Wienter is Here
• Granny Got It
• Ninja Snowman
• Poopin' Moose
• Crappy Holidays
• Santa Riding a Unicorn
• Naughty or Nice 
• Fruit Cake

Sure, you want a sweater that stands out this holiday season. So why not take the awkward, rude and just plain silly, and wrap it all up in some sex appeal? C'mon, you know you want to.

• X-Rated Santa's Been Naughty
• Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
• When I Think About You I Touch My Elf
• One Night Only Santa (Lights Up)
• Reindeer Climax
• Snow's Out Ho Ho Ho's Out 
• Where's Ma Ho Ho Ho's At?
• Reindeer Threesome
• Sexy Women
• Pole Dancing Elves
• Mrs. Clause on the Stripper Pole

This section had me gagging. Just a teensy bit. 

Yea, they aren't THAT bad, and yet... don't say I didn't warn you before you clicked.

• Poinsettias and Plaid
• Squirrelly Lights
• Grandma Made It, Right?
• Like Christmas Threw Up On Me
• Ornaments and Candy Canes
• Rein-Bears (a 6-pack of 'beers')
• Unicorn Rudolf
• Ornament Craziness
• Rainbow Tree

Most of these ugly Christmas sweaters offer up something different - perhaps moving parts, or sounds and effects. Or, they were just so out there, I had nowhere else to list them. 

• Cats Caroling
  
• Creeping Santa (Santa actually moves!)
• Crackling Fireplace (lights up)
• Knit Crackling Fireplace (lights up)
• Zombie Santa
• Oh, Christmas Tree (lights up)
• Rudolf Gets Turned On (lights up)
• Laser Cat-Zillas (there should be lasers! There aren't any)
• Gassy Santa (with sound effects)
• Looks like Cocktails... (with a pocket to hold your drink)
• Crazy Cat Man (with bells)
• The Gift of Tacos
• Sharks in Sweaters
• 3D Moose

If you're still with me... and laughing... then you're probably waiting for the perfect ugly Christmas sweater that will possibly offend (many), and make others flock to you like elves to unicorn poop. You're welcome.

• Ask Your Mom If I'm Real
• Jingle Bros (Jesus and Santa)
• Go Jesus, It's Your Birthday
• Excited Snowman
• Feel the Joy
• Deadpool (okay, not THAT obnoxious...)

You know you want to.... so why not throw a themed shindig, so that your friends can show off their horrible attire right along with you?

• Kit for People Who Forget their Sweaters Should be Horrifically Ugly
• Party Banner
• Ballot Box
• Centerpiece
• 'Danglers' 
• Rosette Award

If you're crafty, you're probably not on this page. Still, you technically *could* learn to knit, sew, crochet or otherwise create your own masterpiece. Right?

• Christmas Pudding (knitting​)
• Christmas Past (knitting)
• Christmas Pullover (knitting)
• Multiple Variations on Christmas Jumpers (knitting)
• ​Santa Sitting on the Toilet (knitting)
• Christmas Elf (knitting)
• 'Cheeky' Bah Humbug (knitting)
• Reindeer (knitting)
• Tacky Christmas Sweater (crochet)
• Minion Christmas Sweater (crochet)
• Darth Vader Christmas Sweater (crochet)
• 15 DIY Christmas Sweaters
• DIY Christmas Sweater (YouTube video)