Need the perfect ugly Christmas sweater, but
Over the years and throughout my travels, I've found many a crazy Christmas jumper. Or, I've knit one myself. I've even patched one together
All of that's to say - I've worn my fair share of awkward, ugly, weird, and downright offensive holiday outfits.
These are my favorite ugly Christmas sweaters. "Favorite," meaning, they fit my personal criteria: ugly, funny, unique, silly, or something that makes me spit out my tea.
All *should* be available from the sellers I've linked to. Post more links in the comments (or link to a photo of you wearing one!). Let me know if something isn't available, and I'll update.
Table of Contents
- 1 The Awkwardly Ugly Christmas Sweater
- 2 The Retro Ugly Christmas Sweater
- 3 The Hilarious Christmas Sweater
- 4 The Fine Line Between Sexy and... Not
- 5 The Just Plain Ugly Christmas Sweater
- 6 The More, Uh, Unusual Christmas Sweater
- 7 The Obnoxious, No-Good, Very Bad Christmas Sweater
- 8 The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party
- 9 Create Your Own Ugly Christmas Sweater
- 10 Show Us Your Ugly Christmas Jumper!
The Awkwardly Ugly Christmas Sweater
There's awkward... and then there's AWKWARD.
These ugly Christmas sweaters toe the line between hilarious and cringe-worthy, and sometimes, downright scary.
Grab one of these when you definitely want to
The Retro Ugly Christmas Sweater
Yea, I get it. You miss the 'old days', even if that was just a week ago. So you want to wear a
The Hilarious Christmas Sweater
When you want to spread mirth and cheer throughout the holidays, you grab one of these hilarious options to spread joy and wonder. And lots of beer spat in laughter all over you.
- A Gift.... To All Women
- Ho times 3
- Spoiler Alert: Santa is not Real
- Bah Hum Pug
- I'm With Scrooge
- Ninja Lights
- The Original Hipster (Santa)
- Snowman Nose Thief
- Drunk Santa
- Rudolf Glowing Nose
- Wienter is Here
- Granny Got It
- Ninja Snowman
- Poopin' Moose
- Crappy Holidays
- Santa Riding a Unicorn
- Naughty (pictured) or Nice
- Fruit Cake
The Fine Line Between Sexy and... Not
Sure, you want a sweater that stands out this holiday season. So why not take the awkward, rude and just plain silly, and wrap it all up in some sex appeal? C'mon, you know you want to.
The Just Plain Ugly Christmas Sweater
This section had me gagging. Just a teensy bit. Uh, not in a good way.
Yea, they aren't THAT bad, and yet... don't say I didn't warn you. Happy clicking!
The More, Uh, Unusual Christmas Sweater
Most of these ugly Christmas sweaters offer up something different - perhaps moving parts, or sounds and effects. Or, they were just so out there, I had nowhere else to list them.
- Cats Caroling
- Creeping Santa (Santa actually moves!)
- Crackling Fireplace (lights up)
- Knit Crackling Fireplace (lights up)
- Zombie Santa
- Oh, Christmas Tree (lights up)
- Rudolf Gets Turned On (lights up)
- Laser Cat-Zillas (there should be lasers! There aren't any) (pictured)
- Gassy Santa (with sound effects)
- Looks like Cocktails... (with a pocket to hold your drink)
- Crazy Cat Man (with bells)
- The Gift of Tacos
- Sharks in Sweaters
- 3D Moose
- Plumber's Butt / Naked Male Chest (pictured below after the article)
The Obnoxious, No-Good, Very Bad Christmas Sweater
If you're still with me... and laughing... then you're probably waiting for the perfect ugly Christmas sweater that will possibly offend (many), and make others flock to you like elves to unicorn poop. You're welcome.
The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party
Create Your Own Ugly Christmas Sweater
If you're crafty, you're probably not on this page. Still, you technically *could* learn to knit, sew, crochet or otherwise create your own masterpiece. Right?
- Christmas Pudding (knitting)
- Christmas Past (knitting)
- Christmas Pullover (knitting)
- Multiple Variations on Christmas Jumpers (knitting)
- Santa Sitting on the Toilet (knitting) (pictured)
- Christmas Elf (knitting)
- 'Cheeky' Bah Humbug (knitting)
- Reindeer (knitting)
- Tacky Christmas Sweater (crochet)
- Minion Christmas Sweater (crochet)
- Darth Vader Christmas Sweater (crochet)
- 15 DIY Christmas Sweaters
- DIY Christmas Sweater (YouTube video)
Show Us Your Ugly Christmas Jumper!
I *really* want to see all of your creations, suggestions, and ideas.
Maybe you have a DIY ugly Christmas sweater blog
Perhaps you're more of a 'buy it' kinda jolly person. That's cool too. Pictures, dammit!
Or, and I really hope there
I'm finishing up a piece about ugly Christmas sweaters you can only find on Etsy, which take this whole concept to a brand-new level. Until then, my friends. Stay ugly. Or jolly. You pick.