A well thought out and thorough book about dealing with a breakup, Getting Past Your Breakup offers comfort, support and guidance along the path from heartbreak to whole.
Attorney and grief counselor Susan J. Elliott shares with readers not only how to survive after a breakup but how to thrive and find love again. With chapters on learning new boundaries and how to tell the kids, Elliot has covered topics that most books of this genre ignore outright.
Chapter 2, The Rules of Disengagement, is a must-read for anyone who has ever suffered a bad breakup, particularly the list of items that keep folks stuck in their grief – most notably the concept of needing closure after a failed relationship.
Table of Contents
The Pros and Cons of Getting Past Your Breakup
- Helps readers not only deal with the breakup, but become better people because of it.
- Well written and thorough.
- Practical how-to’s in every chapter.
- Warm and friendly tone that never comes across as condescending or judgmental.
- Some readers may find the exercises difficult to work through.
- There is no step-by-step process to follow other than reading the book start to finish.
Getting Past Your Breakup Book Review
Elliot wrote an amazing support tome for those in the throes of a difficult, painful or prolonged breakup, and shares oodles of personal and relevant stories to share that she too has walked the walk.
This is still one of two books I consistently recommend to my friends, readers and clients. I can only wholeheartedly recommend checking out the book and Elliot’s website, which provides more support for those wanting to move past the book and onto the next chapter of their lives.
As I perused a local bookseller’s self-help shelves, I came across a woman obviously in a raw state of grief. She held a piece of paper to her stomach and referred to it often as she went through the breakup section. A staff member walked up to her and asked if she needed help.
“Yes, I printed this off,” — she handed the staffer her the piece of paper — “About.com, and I need everything on this list”.
As I turned my head to see the piece of paper, I realized the woman had grabbed my Top Breakup Books list. It took a bit for me to compose myself (hey now, it’s not like writers get this kind of in-person feedback often!), yet before I could say anything, the staff person shared gently, “I think you might only need the first one, it’s right here,” and took her to this book.
Susan’s book. The book that’s helped me through many a breakup, and the one that I still reach for from time to time, along with the other Susan’s (Piver) amazing tome, The Wisdom of a Broken Heart.
So if you find yourself in a bookstore, desperate to find relief for the pain you’re putting yourself through, please, I urge you, just grab this book.
I used to serve as the Dating Expert for About.com, which for most of my nine years with the company, was owned by The New York Times. It was the most read dating column on the planet. They let me go mid-2016 and replaced, and the website ceased to exist soon after. I still recommend Getting Past Your Breakup.
Getting Past Your Breakup Details
- Full Title: Getting Past Your Breakup – How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
- Author: Susan J. Elliott
- Publisher: Da Capo Press
- Published: May 2009
- Book Details: 272 pages, paperback.
The chapters in Getting Past Your Breakup are:
- The Road Map To Healing – introduces the author and concept to the reader and they can expect.
- Rules Of Disengagement – explains why no contact with the ex is important and how to go about doing it, along with myths and reasons why people stay stuck in their past relationships and what to do about it.
- Grief As The Healing Feeling – describes what grief is and the steps most people work through during the breakup process.
- Taking Care Of Yourself – helping the person struggling with the end of a relationship get back into their own life and stop focusing on their ex’s.
- What About The Kids? – ways to help your children cope with your breakup.
- Bringing The Big Picture Into Focus – reviewing the good, bad and ugly of the relationship and learning to let go.
- Where Do You End And I Begin? – learning what healthy boundaries are for the next romantic relationship.
- Moving On – working towards a new relationship.
- Letters From Readers and FAQs
- Afterword and Final Thoughts
What About Your Getting Past Your Breakup Book Review?
Have you read the book? What did you think? What were your biggest takeaways? Would you recommend a different book instead? I’d love to hear in the comments.